she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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