Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
