So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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