Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
