At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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