ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
