I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
