Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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