I need to stop coming to work sober
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize