IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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