so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
