i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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