Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We talked him into tasing himself.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
