I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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