question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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