For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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