yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Someone came in the potted fern
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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