Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
