we have officially lost it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
