i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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