i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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