All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
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