____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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