I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You may now shotgun with the bride
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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