it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
