it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
