The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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