sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
