You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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