Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
tell me about the fingering
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