Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
