I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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