real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
