Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
