Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
