i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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