The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
