so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
