i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
