I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
