My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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