JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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