i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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