My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
