Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
