omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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