I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
