You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
