I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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