Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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