i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize