We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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