Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
why is half of my head shaved?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
