did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
