Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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