Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
