I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
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The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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